television

Rob’s Binge List: Volume 3

Posted on by robindine

Teenage bounty hunters

Twin sisters accidentally help out a Bounty Hunter with one of his targets, they end up secretly working for the Bounty Hunter while maintaining their lives in high school in a Southern Christian Community.

Where to watch: Netflix Original

What makes it great: This is such an underrated show. The girls are very funny, have great chemistry and the concept is pretty original. Feels very Buffy-esque for those of you who are missing that in your life.

Things to look past: It gets canceled after one season so you are left on a cliffhanger.

Grand Army

A varied amount of teens living in NYC go about their everyday lives. (Like that sounds boring but it’s legit what’s happening).

Where to watch: Netflix Original

What makes it great: Good diversity, the casting is very realistic. The kids are not well-known actors and do a pretty good job with their Degrassi level issues. The cinematography is very good too.

Things to look past: It’s a little bleak, the kids don’t interact with each other enough.

Daybreak

A bunch of kids living outside of LA survive a biological warfare that killed all of the adults and now they live in a dystopian world.

Where to watch: Netflix Original

What makes it great: It’s really funny and also heartwarming! The side characters really hold their own. It’s all done in a Ferris Bueller homage (Matthew Broderick has a small role in the show!)

Things to look past: One season so you don’t get much, I feel like it focuses too much on the main kid when the other characters are just as interesting.

Dear White People

Based on the movie, the tv series follows the lives of different African American college students at Winchester University. The beginning starts with a fallout on campus over a black face party at one of the fraternities.

Where to watch: Netflix Orginal

What makes it great: There is a lot of characters, and each episode follows one of their POVs. So you get a chance to latch on to different protagonists.

Things to look past: It’s a little slow, the characters don’t interact with each other enough so it can feel like a new show each episode.

You

A handsome young man who works in a bookstore becomes obsessed with a female customer and begins to date and simultaneously stalk her.

Where to watch: Netflix Original

What makes it great: I mean it’s interesting to see this kind of story through the predator’s POV. Hearing the character’s inner monologue is intriguing. A lot of literary references if that’s your thing.

Things to look past: I mean it’s frustrating just like in any anti-hero story. You get mad at the characters’ choices and stressed with all of the lying and almost being caught.

Lucifer

Disclaimer: I have only seen the first couple of seasons of this.

The devil is living in LA, and becomes interested in a detective who seems immune to his power (getting people to confess their desires). He ends up working on the LAPD with her on various cases while also entering talk therapy.

Where to watch: Aired on Fox originally but now is a Netflix Original.

What makes it great: Tom Ellis is just soooooooo effing cute. So handsome and charming. Very well cast. The concept sounds more dumb than it is in reality. The crime drama mixed with the devil just somehow works. Also any scene where he is talking to his therapist is gold.

Things to look past: The overall arcs move very slowly (at least at the point that I’m watching).

Invincible

Adult animated show about a young kid who comes from a line of superheroes and finally comes into his own powers.

Where to watch: Amazon Prime Original

What makes great: The animation is great, lots of famous actors doing the voices (Steven Yeun, Gillian Jacobs, Sandra Oh, JK Simmons, Andrew Rannells), pretty good plot twist right off the bat.

Things to look past: Gory so gory which feels like a weird thing for animation.

Made for Love

A young woman who has been married to a tech billionaire for the last 10 years escapes his compound after he puts a chip in her head.

Where to watch: HBOMax

What makes it great: Ray Romano as the dad. I was pretty not into him most of the 90s/early 00s but he has aged well. Cristin Milioti who plays the lead is very good. it’s funny and interesting.

Things to look past: Not a lot of explanation or exposition. The main villain feels a little over the top.

Panic

A teen show based on a book about a bunch of kids in Texas who compete in fear-based challenges for a chance to win a large amount of money. The poverty-ridden town of Carp, TX has done “Panic” for many years but this year someone might be taking the odds into their own hands.

Where to watch: Amazon Prime Original

What makes it great: The concept is pretty good, and the stakes feel real. The main protagonist is very likable and I could see that actress doing a lot more after the show.

Things to look past: The execution is not as good as the concept, too many storylines, not enough follow-through.

The Other Two

A decent satire of Justin Bieber where a young kid from Ohio gets discovered on YouTube and his career blows up quick. The show follows his adult siblings who live in NYC and are struggling for their own fame.

Where to watch: It was originally on Comedy Central but then it got put on HBOMax

What makes it great: Sooo funny! Great guest stars, Molly Shannon as the mom absolutely kills it. Good LBGT representation.

Things to look past: It can be occasionally a second hand cringe.

Roswell New Mexico

Based on the WB show from the early 00s “Roswell” as well as the books “Roswell High”. It’s been adapted again for the CW. Be glad they did because they got it right this time! The show is about 3 adult alien siblings living in Roswell trying to keep their identities hidden as well as a secret from the past. (I mean that’s a pretty good ass description).

Where to watch: It airs on the CW but Netflix picks it up.

What makes it great: They add some diversity from the original series. THE MUSIC! SO GOOD. 90s playlists, great covers. Strong protagonist, decent mystery, the characters are all likable and you root for them.

Things to look past: Slooooowww beginning. Really gotta give like 4 episodes and in this day and age with all the content available it makes it too easy to swipe left on something great.

Bonding

A graduate student in NYC along with her queer best friend start moonlighting as Dominatrix for hire.

Where to watch: Netflix Original

What makes it great: Cool concept, funny, queer, decently sweet despite the nature of the show.

Things to look past: The episodes are very short, and the second season is much better than the first.

Sex Education

A teenage virgin starts giving out sex advice (as his mother is a sex therapist) in exchange for money at his British high school.

Where to watch: Netflix Original

What makes it great: I mean the setting in the English countryside is just so nice. Gillian Anderson as his mom is great. Good LBGT and diversity stories.

Things to look past: It’s not quite funny/silly enough.

Russian Doll

A young woman in NYC dies suddenly on her birthday, after her death she relieves the same day over again. She is continuously stuck in the same day and it always ends in her death. She meets another man stuck in the same loop as her and they work together to solve what’s happening to them.

Where to watch: Netflix Original

What makes it great: It’s kind of Groundhog’s Day meets Happy Deathday. Natasha Lyonne is the perfect sarcastic lead, and her counterpart balances her well. It’s funny but dark.

Things to look past: The characters’ focus doesn’t seem congruent with what’s happening to them. They fixate a lot on their personal issues rather than the loop.

WandaVision

Grief-stricken Avenger Wanda Maximoff retreats to New Jersey to deal with the loss of her lover Vision. This results in her conjuring a fake reality where everyone in her town starts acting like sitcom stars. (There is not a lot of good ways to explain the premise).

Where to watch: Disney+

What makes it great: Elizabeth Olsen is an absolute treasure, such great range. The concept is very meta and original. Kathryn Hayn is an amazing addition to the MCU. It’s like confusing but in a good way.

Things to look past: There is a lack of exposition for what’s going on.

Falcon and The Winter Solider

Taking place right after the events of Avengers Endgame, Sam (Falcon) and Bucky (Winter Solider) team up to stop a group of international terrorists.

Where to watch: Disney+

What makes it great: The banter between the two leads is pretty good. Much more action-packed than its predecessor WandaVision. A compelling villain story.

Things to look past: Can rely too much on the action sequences versus the overall plot.

Derry Girls

Four girls living in Northern Ireland along with their English male friend navigate teenage life in the 90s. Based on the creator’s real life.

Where to watch: Netflix Original

What makes it great: It’s very funny. It’s not like dry British humor which isn’t my thing. The kids are real cute and the 90s throwbacks are a great add-on. The cast is realistic-looking as well as their interactions.

Things to look past: A couple of the episodes are kind of blah. Also, I’d recommend closed captioning for their thick Irish accents.

Girls5Eva

A washed-up girls group from the early 00s reunites after 20 years to try to have a comeback.

Where to watch: Peacock

What makes it great: The cast is amazing, very funny. Sara Bareilles as the lead is the gem we didn’t know we needed. Tina Fey is one of the writers. Great female friendships. The theme song is unbelievably catchy. The early 00s references bring me comfort.

Things to look past: Some of the B plots are kind of a yawn.

Hollywood

Taking place in 1940s Hollywood, various actors and studio executives work together to make a movie.

Where to watch: Netflix Original

What makes it great: It’s a Ryan Murphy show (Glee, American Horror Story, Scream Queens) so you know it’s going to have great outfits and one-liners. A lot of dialogue about race and sexuality. It’s not usually a Ryan Murphy style but in this most of his characters are very likable and you root for them.

Things to look past: For being as short as it is, I think it takes a little too long to get to its main conflict.

Crashing

Written by the creator of Fleabag Phoebe Waller-Bridge. A group of young adults reside in a old hospital in London. Navigating communal living, and relationships.

Where to watch: Netflix

What makes it great: It’s only 6 episodes (which upon observation I think is more of an international move) so it gets to the point relatively quickly. It’s very funny, some Type 1 Diabetes representation as well LGBT (they got your boy’s number).

Things to look past: I mean it’s only 6 episodes so the flip of getting to the point quickly is that it ends quickly and you’re left feeling slightly unresolved.

Shrill

Based on the book Shrill, follows Annie who is a plus-size woman living in Portland writing for an indy magazine.

Where to watch: Hulu Original

What makes it great: Aidy Byrant in this role is killer. Very realistic writing and dialogue. Relatable problems.

Things to look past: Sometimes the writing is so on the nose it makes you uncomfortable.

Loki

The quasi villain from the MCU gets stuck in place outside of time itself. Forced to comply with the Time Authority for his freedom.

Where to watch: Disney+

What makes it great: Who doesn’t love an antihero? Villain turned to the protagonist? it’s just fun. Plus Owen Wilson has salt and pepper hair that will make you swoon.

Things to look past: I was low-key (or Loki, see what I did there?) confused. Time stories are always a little wonky.

Generation+

A group of Gen Z teens living in California and their various issues. (I stared at this for a while but there is legitimately no other way to describe it).

Where to watch: HBOMax

What makes it great: Good diversity, similar teen tropes that exist but are well updated for the current generation. Beautiful cinematography.

Things to look past: A lot of second-hand cringe. Also, you will be too aware you are not a teen anymore. I’ve never felt more aged.

Special

Based on the novel by Ryan O’Connoll about a young gay man living in LA. He lives with Cerebal Palsy and begins a new job at the beginning of the series. He navigates his life with his disability, sexual orientation, and codependent mother.

Where to watch: Netflix Original

What makes it great: It’s very funny, and provides a point of view of some realistic but not necessarily obvious barriers to dating with a disability.

Things to look past: Cringey at times, the secondary characters’ stories feel very rushed.

The Boys

A young man seeks revenge after a group of so-called “superheroes” hurt someone close to him.

Where to watch: Amazon Prime Original

What makes it great: A good twist on the superhero tropes, very dark, but also funny. Good satire on Marvel/DC characters. The main protagonist is very charming.

Things to look past: Sooo bleak, hard to watch at points, a little gory.

Hawkeye

Following the events of Avengers Endgame, a young woman (Kate Bishop) accidentally gets mixed up with the mafia. Together Kate and Clint Barton have to work together to keep both of their families safe.

Where to watch: Disney+

What makes it great: Takes place around Christmas so you get some nice Die Hard vibes. Hailee Steinfeld is a great new edition to the MCU. Jeremy Renner breathes a little new life into Hawkeye. It’s funny, good villains and cameos.

Things to look past: I think it’s too short, I think some of the relationships didn’t get enough air time for some of the plot to hit as hard as the writers intended.

Harley Quinn

Animated DC adult show about the adventures of Harley Quinn.

Where to watch: HBOMax

What makes it great: It’s like a for-real adult humor, almost too crass at times. Very funny, a good satire on superhero material. Poison Ivy is a great secondary lead. Mixes humor with actual conflict pretty well.

Things to look past: Like I said it can occasionally be too crass.

The Society

A group of high schoolers go on a field trip and when they return to their town everyone has vanished. They also discover they are not able to leave town. Now they must find order and function amongst each other.

Where to watch: Netflix Original

What makes it great: It’s very enticing, a good mystery, the conflict is good. Lord of The Flies vibes for sure. Diverse cast and storylines.

Things to look past: It only ran for one season and gets canceled due to COVID. Even though we are left on a cliffhanger it doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the journey.

Cruel Summer

A young girl goes missing in the 90s, the story is told over the three years between her life before being abducted, her capture, and her release. The story also follows the other lead, a young girl in town who may have been involved in her abduction.

Where to watch: Hulu

What makes it great: The episodes take turns telling the story from each girl’s point of view. The concept is very good, both actresses do a very good job. The storytelling approach is creative, the mystery is enticing.

Things to look past: Some of the conflicts outside of the initial conflict are kind of inconsistent. Also, some of the production choices are off (i.e. the lighting).

Love Victor

A loose spinoff from the movie Love, Simon. Victor is a new kid living in Creekwood (where Love Simon takes place) navigating his confusion over his sexuality.

Where to watch: Hulu Original

What makes it great: I think Victor is more charming than Simon. Better diversity in this show than in the movie, the friends and side characters are more involved.

Things to look past: It can get a tiny bit hokey. Could use a little more edge.

Honorable Mentions

These are all shows I’ve mentioned in previous posts but I think deserve more attention.

Community

Taking place in a community college seven students from different walks of life come together to create a study group. #sixseasonsandamovie

Where to watch: Netflix and Hulu

What makes it great: The show is just so funny and heartwarming. Every time I watch there are new references I catch or reoccurring bits. Very good tender moments. Lots of very smart meta homages.

Things to look past: I mean honestly nothing, just that sometimes the episodes target a genre I don’t care about.

Scream The TV Series

Not really taking place inside the same world as the movies, but is the same creator. There is a slasher in town targeting a group of teens tying back to an old town legend.

Where to watch: Netflix

What makes it great: The mystery is pretty good. Somehow the slasher genre shouldn’t work as a tv show but it does.

Things to look past: Season 3, it’s a totally different story with different writers but its’ not as good.

Search Party

A group of shallow Brooklyn millennials discover an old classmate has gone missing, bored with their own lives they decide to look for her.

Where to watch: HBOMax

What makes it great: So funny, the mystery is great. A dark comedy for sure, and they’re really aren’t any lulls in the story.

Things to look past: Even though it’s intentional the characters can be very unlikeable at times. The last season kind of goes off the rails too.

Marvel’s The Runaways

Part of the MCU. A group of privileged teens living in LA. discover their parents are supervillains. They decide to work together to find a way to stop their parent’s nefarious plans while also discovering their own family secrets relating to their own superpowers and weapons.

Where to watch: Hulu Original

What makes it great: The kids have good very diversity, good LGBT representation> Good themes of morality, family dynamics. The kids are all very likable, good villains introduced, the parents’ storylines are intriguing.

Things to look past: The pacing is a little off, goes too slow at parts and then rushes at the finale.

Secret Single Behavior

Posted on by robindine

Secret Single Behavior, also known as “SSB”. This is inspired from the season 4 episode of Sex and The City “The Good Fight”. The plot involves Carrie’s boyfriend moving in and she mentions how she misses doing that stuff you do when you’re totally alone. Her example is eating saltines and jelly while reading magazines.

secret single behavior

 

I feel like this is a great concept and I’m curious to know what everyone else does when they’re totally alone.When I’m home alone for an extended period of time. I love to turn on a television show or movie I’ve seen a 100 times and walk around the house and narrate out loud all of the stuff I need to do in the upcoming week. It sounds crazy to write it out but I’ve been doing that since junior high.

Abed

 

I also like to play old RPG videos games while simultaneously listening to Friends on a different device. Watching TV bloopers on YouTube and the occasional episode of Sailor Moon.

Lisa_plays_game

 

I’ll never understand people who don’t like being alone for even a night, do you have no guilty pleasures? My favorite example is in season 2 of Gilmore Girls “There’s The Rub”. Rory has a night to herself without Lorelai and instead of trying to hangout with her boyfriend she just wants to do her laundry and eat Indian food. Like girl, I get it. Everyone gives her so much shit but it’s honestly the most therapeutic thing in the world.  Even Rory and Lorelai who are attached at the hip revel in time apart (albeit they are fictional).

Rory single

 

I mean there is a fine line between being a super couple and being a Liz Lemon. Can’t just eat night cheese and wear charcoal masks every day (although like maybe you can, I’ve been trying for 30 years). I might overindulge as I own at least 3 outfits that I wear around the house that I would never want anyone to see.

will truman naked

 

There is also a certain amount of shame eating that goes into my rituals. Shame eating is a big part of SSB. I feel like getting the hot bar food at Forest Hills Foods and drinking crisp Diet Coke is slight nirvana to me. Also any candy in ice cream form (Snickers, Reese’s, Twix etc) is just tops.

David rose

 

So for you my loyal readers, what’s your SSB?

 

Television Binge List 2018 Edition

Posted on by robindine

Okay folks here it is, my updated list of shows to binge.  Full disclosure I didn’t finish all of these shows to completion but I watched enough to recommend and just before anyone comments; No I haven’t watched Haunting of Hill House yet. Enjoy the read!

 

 Game Of Thrones

 

“They are telling human stories in a fantasy world” –Ben Wyatt, Parks and Rec

That’s pretty much it. It’s soapy and sexy and there are dragons.

Things to look forward to: A lot of characters, encompassing world to get into, and Peter Dinklage.

Things to move past: People you love will be brutally killed. Dealing with the fans who have also read the books. Everyone’s name sounds relatively the same (high recommendation of using closed captioning).

Original Network: HBO

Number of seasons: 7 (1 more to go)

Where to watch now: HBO GO, and I honestly got the first few seasons at the library.

 

Schitt’s Creek

 

Kind of Canada’s answer to Arrested Development. Rich family who loses it all and now has to spend all of their time together in poverty.

Things to look forward to: Unlike Arrested Development it might not be as funny but has a lot more tender moments, plus an amazing all-star cast (Catherine O’Hara or death)

Things to move past: Takes a few episodes to hit its stride.

Original Network: Pop (who has even heard of that?)

Number of seasons: 4 and counting

Where to watch now: Netflix

 True Blood

 

A sultry southern tale of vampires and various supernatural creatures. Based off of mystery novels, HBO just basically sprinkles in a lot more nudity and calls it a show.

Things to look forward to: Mysteries, sexy and humorous, good LGBT representation

Things to look past: Gory, and like many great shows it takes a big dip in quality in the middle.

Original Network: HBO

Number of seasons: 7

Where to watch: HBO GO

 

Charmed

 

Three sisters living in San Francisco discover they are witches and have to battle demons on a weekly basis, but also find time to date??

Things to look forward to: Not as dark as other supernatural dramas and it’s really more about sisters who happen to be witches rather than witches who happen to be sisters.

Things to look past: Bad continuity issues, and very campy at times.

Original Network: The WB

Number of seasons: 8

Where to watch now: Netflix

Also The CW is making a revival with new characters this fall that looks good but is controversial at best.

 

Will and Grace

 

Two best friends, one gay lawyer and a Jewish fashion designer living in NYC in 90s sitcom fashion.

Things to look forward to: Progressive and ahead of its time, great celebrity guest appearances, and so funny.

Things to look past: A little corny at times, and not quite as good as Friends.

Original Network: NBC

Number of seasons: 8 and now a reboot that is still going.

Where to watch now: Hulu (original and reboot)

 

One Tree Hill

 

Distant half brothers deal with their differences on the basketball court in a very 2004 high school genre drama.

Things to look forward to: An amazing soundtrack! I still listen to music from that show. The teens are actually pretty charming and engaging. High stakes drama with good fodder too.

Things to look past: It does a time jump that does not serve it well and two main characters leave after season 6.

Original Network: The WB/CW

Number of seasons: 9

Where to watch now: Hulu

 

Barry

 

An ex-veteran hitman moves to LA to purse acting as a career.

Things to look forward to: Bill Hader plays Barry and is just adorable. The other actors in his class are very funny. The concept is original.

Things to look past: It’s a little dark and a little dry at times.

Original Network: HBO

Number of seasons: 1 and counting

Where to watch now: HBO GO

 

Sabrina The Teenage Witch

 

Not to be confused with The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. This is the original. A young woman learns she is a supernatural witch and has to learn to manage her magic and high school.

Things to look forward to:  Melissa Joan Hart as Sabrina is real cute and iconic. The show is also very funny even for adults.

Things to look past: I mean it’s a pretty 90s campy sitcom so if you’re not in the mood for that it’s not going to do you any favors.

Original Network: ABC (Then the WB

Number of seasons: 7

Where to watch now: Hulu

 

Desperate Housewives

 

Starting with the suicide of housewife Mary Alice Young, her friends set out to solve the circumstances of her death and navigate their suburban lives.

Things to look forward to: A lot going on, not a lot of lulls. New over arching mystery per season. Also it’s just iconic and funny.

Things to move past: Susan Mayer

Original network: ABC

Number of seasons: 8

Where to watch now: Hulu

 

Search Party

 

A Brooklyn based millennial decides to make it her job to find an old college acquaintance who has gone missing.

Things to look forward to:  Hilarious, but the mystery is captivating and the side characters are everything.

Things to move past: it’s not available on streaming anywhere that I know.

Original network: TBS

Number of seasons : 2 and counting

Where to watch now: Illegally but just do it, it’s worth the jail time.

 

The Magicians

 

Basically adult American Harry Potter, a show about a graduate college of magic and the students also explore a fantasy world.

Things to look forward to: Funny, smart and will help you cope with the loss of Harry Potter.

Things to move past: A shitty protagonist, and a shift in settings that I don’t totally love.

Original network: Syfy

Number of seasons: 3 and counting

Where to watch now: Netflix

 

Daredevil

 

A blind lawyer vigilante with enhanced abilities.

Things to look forward to: Very dark and gritty but in a good way. Kind of Marvel’s answer to Batman.

Things to look past: Kind of dense, hard to binge.

Number of seasons: 2 and counting

Where to watch: Netflix original

 

The Carrie Diaries

 

A prequel story of a young Carrie Bradshaw set in the 1980s.

Things to look forward to: AnnaSophia Robb is darling, the music is great, it’s a very sweet teen show.

Things to look past: it’s not like the HBO show, so a lot of people were disappointed but I think it holds it own weight well.

Original Network: The CW

Number of seasons: 2

Where to watch: Netflix

 

Queer Eye

 

A reboot of the original where 5 gay guys come in and style your life.

Things to look forward to: Jonathon and a lot of the episodes will make you cry.

Things to look past: The season is too short

Number of seasons: 2 and counting

Where to watch: Netflix Original

 

Big Mouth

 

A crass animated sitcom about puberty where puberty takes form as a hormone monster.

Things to look forward to: Maya Rudolph as the Hormone Monstress

Things to look past: The pillow episode

Number of seasons: 2 and counting

Where to watch: Netflix Original

 

Happy Endings

 

ABC sitcom about six diverse friends living in Chicago.

Things to look forward to: Very quippy and funny, Casey Wilson is highly underrated as Penny Hartz. The chemistry of the whole cast is great.

Things to look past: It lacks a little bit of the tender side of these kind of comedies. Sometimes you just want to say “we get it” with some of the bits.

Number of seasons: 3

Original network: ABC

Where to watch now: Hulu

 

The Real O’Neal’s

 

Cousin of Modern Family/Speechless/Fresh Off The Boat/Blackish. Family of Chicago Irish Catholics who’s middle son comes out as gay.

Things to look forward to: The LGBT representation is on point. Kenny is a charming protagonist as well as the family being great supporting cast.

Things to look past: Aunt Jody attempting to be Aunt Hilda from Sabrina The Teenage Witch.

Number of seasons: 2

Original network: ABC

Where to watch now: Hulu

 

Once Upon A Time

 

A young woman discovers her birth parents are fairy tale characters and trapped in a cursed town.

Things to look forward to: Disney fans will love seeing their favorite characters in live action with some good twists. Regina is a complex anti-hero you love to root for.

Things to look past: Henry and a super slow first season.

Number of seasons: 7

Original network: ABC

Where to watch now: Hulu/Netflix

 

Bob’s Burgers

 

Animated sitcom about a family running a burger restaurant in a seaside town.

Things to look forward to: Maybe the most hilarious family currently on television.

Things to look past: There are for sure a few bombed episodes. (I’m looking at you toilet episode with Gene)

Number of seasons: 9 and counting (and rumors of a movie)

Original network: Fox

Where to watch now: Hulu

 

Future Man

 

A young janitor gets recruited by a video game to save the world in this time traveling sci-fi comedy.

Things to look forward to: Josh Hutcherson plays the protagonist and he is adorable. Haley Joel Osment also has a small role.  The time travel offers good soundtracks, James Cameron.

Things to look past: Comedy can be a little overly crass at times.

Number of seasons: 1 and counting

Where to watch now: Hulu original

 

Please Like Me

 

An Australian millennial comes out as gay.

things to look forward to: Good representation of living with mental health, and funny and it’s cool to see Australian culture.

Things to look past: protagonist Josh is kind of the worst. Also at times it’s just gay hipster nonsense.

Number of seasons: 4

Original network: ABC (but like in Australia or something)

Where to watch now: Netflix/Hulu

 

The Bold Type

 

Three best friends work for a women’s magazine.

Things to look forward to: I mean I’m not a woman but I feel empowered afterwards.

Things to look past: It’s cute but it lacking a little something to make it stand out.

Number of seasons: 2 and counting

Original network: Freeform

Where to watch now: Hulu

 

BoJack Horseman

 

Animated dramedy about a washed up actor. Also many people are animals instead of humans.

Things to look forward to: Painfully relatable at times. BoJack is a complex character that resonates.

Things to look past: Often very gloomy.

Number of seasons: 4 and counting

Where to watch now: Netflix original

 

The Good Place

 

A young woman dies and goes on to the “good place” only to learn there has been a cosmic screw up.

Things to look forward to: Kristen Bell as the hilarious lead. Ted Danson as the architect is so good too.

Things to look past: It’s a little slow, and repetitive.

Number of seasons: 2 and counting

Original network: Fox

Where to watch now: Hulu/Netflix

 

Love

 

Mickey and Gus are two emotionally broken LA residents who despite their differences and jaded attitudes seem to find love.

Things to look forward to: It’s a Judd Apatow show and he delivers. Also Gillian Jacobs as Mickey is everything. Birdie.

Things to look past: Every single character is frustrating

Number of seasons: 3

Where to watch now: Netflix Original

 

GLOW

 

Glamorous Ladies of Wrestling. Taking place in the 1980s, follows the story of female wrestlers.

Things to look forward to: Jenji Kohan (of Weeds and OITNB) is the creator and it shows.

Things to look past: Not quite as funny as it could be. Like many of Jenji Kohan characters the protagonist is not that likeable (Nancy Botwin, Piper Chapman)

Number of seasons: 2 and counting

Where to watch now: Netflix Original

 

Riverdale

 

Based on Archie Comics but like a weird dark teen soapy twist.

Things to look forward: The outfits? Honestly I don’t even know.

Things to look past: The humans who botched this concept.

Number of seasons: 3 and counting

Original network: The CW

Where to watch now: Netflix

 

Grace and Frankie

 

Two women in their golden years make an unlikely friendship when their husbands ending up falling in love with each other.

Things to look forward to: great LGBT representation especially for an older generation. Very funny and sweet.

Things to move past: Adorable but the plot lines are slow.

Number of seasons: 4 and counting

Where to watch now: Netflix original

 

The OA

 

A young girl who went missing many years ago has returned home to Michigan.

Things to look forward: Combines great sci-fi with crime and mystery drama. It also has beautiful imagery and cinematography.

Things to look past: Not in love with the protagonist.

Number of seasons: 1 and counting

Where to watch: Netflix original

 

Master of None

 

Aziz Ansari playing a modern Indian actor trying to make it NYC.

Things to look forward to: Aziz is actually pretty likeable and not as annoying as Tom Haverford. Denise is a kween too.

Things to look past: it’s kind of Hipster Anthem.

Number of seasons: 2

Where to watch: Netflix original

 

New Girl

 

A young woman moves in with three bachelors following a bad break up.

Things to look forward to: It’s very quotable and you will definitely be able to make small talk with your coworkers if you watch New Girl.

Things to look past: The adorkable thing gets very played out.

Original Network: Fox

Number of seasons: 7

Where to watch now: Netflix/Hulu

 

Looking

 

A trio of three gay men living in San Francisco struggling with careers, friendship and love. Basically a gay man’s Girls.

Things to look forward to: Wonderful and realistic dialogue. Raw LGBT themes that are very relatable.

Things to look past: sometimes so realistic its’ cringey.

original Network: HBO

Number of seasons: 2 and a made for TV movie

Where to watch now: HBO Go

 

The Defenders

 

Combining the Netflix characters of Daredevil, Luke Cage, Jessica Jones and Iron fist. These 4 characters band together to save the city in a mini series.

Things to look forward to: All of these beloved characters coming together and Sigourney Weaver as the villain. Iron Fist wasn’t a good show but he works in an ensemble.

Things to look past: It felt a little biased towards Daredevil’s story.

Number of Seasons: 1 (doesn’t seem they will make more)

Where to watch now: Netflix original

 

Bunheads

 

A short lived Amy Sherman-Palladino (creator of Gilmore Girls) project about a Vegas dancer who gets stuck teaching ballet in a small California town.

Things to look forward to: Sutton Foster should have her own show, she is the new Lorelai (The Reigning Lorelai for you big GG fans), the kids are cute, and Kelly Bishop (Emily Gilmore) is a major character.

Things to look past: The show doesn’t balance itself whether its supposed to be about Michelle (Sutton Foster) or the kids. Also I don’t like the finale.

Original network: ABC Family

Number of seasons: 1

Where to watch now: Hulu

 

Wet Hot American Summer

 

Based on the early 00’s movie about camp counselors in the 1980s, two seasons one a prequel and one concluding 10 years after the original movie.

Things to look forward to: If you loved the movie they really honor the style and humor.

Things to look past: No Bradley Cooper

Number of seasons: 2

Where to watch now: Netflix Original

 

Stranger Things

 

Set in the 1980s, a young boy goes missing and his friends begin the search uncovering monsters and a corrupt government lab.

Things to look forward to: The kids are hella charming and the 1980s setting gives it a real Goonies feel without ripping it off. (I feel like Goonies isn’t even mad because Sean Astin is in the second season.)

Things to look past: As much as I love Winona Ryder, her melodramatic scenes are exhausting.

Number of seasons: 2 and counting

Where to watch now: Netflix Original

 

13 Reasons Why

 

Based on the novel, a young girl commits suicide and leaves cassette tapes for different people documenting what events lead up to her demise.

Things to look forward to: Story is intricate which keeps you involved and there a lot of characters so you don’t get bored.

Things to look past: These kids have no fun and also the last episode of season 1 is brutal.

Number of season: 2

Where to watch now: Netflix original.

 

Westworld

 

A sci-fi remake of the movie about human like androids living in a Western theme park.

Things to look forward to: Major twists, beautiful scores and scenery, if you love reddit theories then this is the show for you.

Things to look past: If you don’t love reddit theories.

Numbers of seasons: 2 and counting

Orignal network: HBO

Where to watch now: HBO Go

 

The Handmaid’s Tale

 

Based on the novel, a dystopian society where birth rates have dropped, America is taken over by a religious government. A caste system is formed and fertile women are imprisoned by families of status.

Things to look forward to: Much more in-depth than the book, great music, visually stunning, constantly moving plot with a lot of questions.

Things to look past: Some of the episodes are so rough they hurt my stomach.

Number of seasons: 2 and counting

Where to watch now: Hulu Original

 

The Runaways

 

Based on the graphic novel, a group of teens discover their parents are in a league of super villains and band together to become heroes.

Things to look forward to: A fresh teen show, not typical  high school drama. Original idea and captivating.

Things to look past: The beginning few episodes are way too slow. Pacing is a problem.

Number of seasons: 1 and counting

Where to watch now: Hulu orignal

 

Alone Together

 

Two young struggling comedians living in LA navigate their millennial issues.

Things to look forward to: The leads are great and have good chemistry. It’s very much a feeling of Freeform saying they aren’t ABC Family anymore with this show.

Things to look past: The bits between the two characters can last too long.

Number of seasons: 2

Original network: FreeForm

Where to watch now: Hulu

 

Claws 

 

A group of nail technicians living in coastal Florida who reluctantly get involved with the local mafia.

Things to look forward to: Niecy Nash is like the more likable Nancy Botwin (Weeds), fast paced story, great diva women.

Things to look past: It’s one of those shows where you feel like the characters can never get ahead.

Number of seasons: 2

Original Network: TNT (weird, right?)

Where to watch now: Hulu

 

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

 

A young woman living in 1950s Manhattan discovers a talent for stand up comedy after her husband leaves her family.

Things to look forward to: Gilmore Girls creator Amy Sherman-Pallidino takes on this project and it has all the quip and love of Gilmore Girls without the restrictions of basic cable. It’s super funny, the outfits are cute and it’s very original. So many Emmy’s already for this show.

Things to look past: It’s still very new so nothing is terrible at this point, but sometimes the episodes feel a little long.

Number of seasons: 1 and counting

Where to watch now: Amazon Original

 

 American Horror Story

 

Ryan Murphy phenomenon where in each season he tells a different mini series based around popular horror themes (witches, freak show, murder, asylums, cults, etc)

Things to look forward to: It’s a Ryan Murphy show so there are great one liners, big celebrity names, intriguing story lines and limit pushing ideas. Every season is different so if you don’t like one, you are welcome to try again with a new one. He uses diversity well in his stories.

Things to look past: Like many Ryan Murphy shows, they don’t come together well in the end (even in mini series form).  Rely too much on camp and kitchiness instead of plot.

Number of seasons: 7 (8 is currently running)

Original network: FX

Where to watch now: Netflix and Hulu

 

Cloak and Dagger 

 

Two teenagers learn of a strange link that formed the night of a freak accident.

Things to look forward to: It’s filmed and takes place in the south and it’s often very pretty. Cool duality themes of good and evil.

Things to look past: The kids chemistry is a little shaky and the story is slow.

Number of seasons: 1 and counting

Original Network: Freeform

Where to watch now: Hulu

 

Witches of East End

 

A family of female witches navigate their lives, magic and love in this soapy drama.

Things to look forward to: Okay, it sounds really stupid but it’s actually cute and pretty funny. The mythology is solidly built, the characters have good dimensions and the plot is intriguing.

Things to look past: Julia Ormand needs to work on her American accent, and because it is kind of soapy you are dealing with a lot of dudes with waxed chests and feelings.

Number of seasons: 2

Original network: Lifetime (be cool everybody)

Where to watch now: Hulu

 

Luke Cage

 

An ex-convict who has super strength and impenetrable skin sets out to keep Harlem safe.

Things to look forward to: I’m just gonna be real, Luke is such a babe. Also his redemption theme is powerful. Good villains and side characters. Rosario Dawson is around a lot more. An amazing sex scene.

Things to look past: It’s very gritty, can be hard to watch, needs a little more levity.

Number of seasons: 2 and counting

Where to watch now: Netflix original

 

The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

 

A modern remake of the orignal Sabrina. Not much in common. This version has Sabrina already be magical and deal with the duality of witches and mortals. Very dark and satanic take on the universe.

Things to look forward to: I really like the actress that plays Sabrina, the addition of her gay cousin, the feminist angle.

Things to look past: Very dark, everyone is kinda mean, it’s gloomy and not much fun.

Number of seasons: 1 and undoubtably more

Where to watch now: Netflix Orignal

Lists

25 Fictional Women Who Would Raise Hell in The Handmaid’s Tale

Aside | Posted on by robindine

I have recently caught up on Hulu’s The Handmaid’s Tale and all I think when I watch is three things:

  1. This is the hardest show to watch on television but it’s so good.
  2. I don’t remember the book being so cringing. (Yeah, this is my horrible hipster way of saying “Yeah, I read the book before it was a show.”)
  3. What if a Vampire Slayer had to be a Handmaid? This show would be so different and I’m ready to see quite a few people (mostly Serena Joy) get their asses kicked.

 

This got me thinking about what other characters would get the upper hand in show where the protagonists always seem to be struggling to keep their head above water.

Offred/June is quickly rising to the ranks of  television’s beloved female Kweens but this group of women below would reek havoc for Gilead.

 

 

1. Buffy Summers

Buffy

Well obviously our beloved slayer is up for the job. Buffy not only has the strength and speed to escape, she has the quick wit to have a Joss Whedon-esque one-liner to the Commander as she pummels him to the floor.

 

2. Spencer Hastings

Spencer

Our favorite PLL Dollhouse alum. Spencer is our gal to dig up some good dirt on the Waterfords and blackmail them effectively in order to escape. Also can’t you just see Ali playing Serena Joy in this version?

 

3. Jessica Jones

Jessica Jones

Sure Jessica is super strong and can fly so escape is no issue but you also know she is P.I. and a cranky one to boot. She has been a survivor of rape and also has been controlled by an oppressive man. Spoiler alert: she broke that guy’s neck so I don’t see the Commander or Serena Joy lasting long with her in the house.

 

4. Katniss Everdeen

Katniss

She has already lead a rebellion against a corrupt governing system. Can she do it without a bow and arrow?

 

5. Pam Swynford de Beaufort

Pam true blood 2

Pam has just the appropriate amount of darkness to be a threat to Gilead. She is smart, charming, and very sadistic. Once she has the upper hand (and just be patient she will get it), the driest, filthiest insult will be delivered followed by mass carnage.

 

6. Kimmy Schmidt

kimmy break us

Kimmy lived in a underground bunker for 15 years. Sorry Offred ya damn rookie by comparison.

 

7. Cookie Lyon

Cookie

Just look at those nails. She is prepared to tear your ass up. I can imagine nothing better than her tearing down Aunt Lydia when she tries to tell her to put her head down and be modest.

 

8. Bree Van De Kamp

Bree

I honestly think she would just go native in the beginning and appreciate the religion and manners but like all Desperate Housewives she would hit a breaking point. Plus we all know how her love of guns.

 

9. Piper Halliwell

Piper

I mean all of the Halliwell sisters (with the exception of Phoebe) could probably escape with little effort but Piper has the most fire power and the biggest temper so it’s great for cinematic effect.

 

10. Veronica Mars

veronica mars

A more sober version of Jessica Jones but Veronica is even sneakier if possible. Veronica may not have super powers but she does know how to play the game.

 

11. Olivia Pope

olivia pope

I don’t even watch Scandal and I know she is amazing.

 

12. Paris Geller

Paris-Geller-Gif

I mean…come on.. good luck Gilead. I don’t think even they could break Paris Geller plus she wouldn’t have hesitated to join her pal Rory/Offglen in Mayday.

 

13. Galina “Red” Reznikov

Red6

She’s not really of fertile age so she would probably be a Martha not a Handmaid but she’s a master manipulator and I don’t think she would hesitate to poison Serena Joy.

 

14. Luna Lovegood

Luna_Lovegood_gif_set_1

I know what you are all thinking, what about Hermione? Yes she is obvious choice but I think Luna could stomach being a captive for a longer period of time and I don’t think Hermione could cope with not being allowed to read.

 

15. Regina Mills

Regina Mills

Regina is super powered, slightly unstable and loves her son very much. I think the outfits alone would drive over the edge and burn the place to the ground because this Evil Queen isn’t playing.

 

16. Black Widow

Black widow

Obligatory choice. She obviously would kick ass but I don’t think I would watch her show. Sorry Natasha.

 

17. Morticia Addams

morticia

I just feel like everyone in Gilead would be so disappointed that she wouldn’t mind having a finger cut off or her tongue removed.

 

18. Fred Burkle

Fred

Fred is a brilliant physicist and taco enthusiast. She also was a human slave in a demon dimension for 5 years so I think she can hold her own.

 

19. Lady Olenna

Lady Olenna

“Tell Cersi. I want her to know it was me.” That right there is proof enough she can hang.

 

20. Delores Abernathy

westworld-dolores-wyatt

Delores is a dark horse. You never see her coming and next thing you know she has massacred a town.

 

21. Olivia Benson

oliva benson

Yeah, she is pretty much the opposite of “mansplaining”

 

22. Fiona Goode

fiona goode

Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire. She’s evil sure, but at least she has cute clothes and is nice to the mentally disabled.

 

23. Nancy Thompson

nancy thompson

Girlfriend is a survivor. She makes booby traps, she doesn’t sleep, she also doesn’t need a hall pass anywhere she is going.

 

24. Storm/Ororo Monroe

storm 2

Not a woman who needs to say much to get her point across. Storm is generally pretty serene but if provoked (which would take about .3 seconds in Handmaid’s Tale) she would tsunami their asses into place.

 

25. Joyce Byers

Joyce Byers

We all know what happens when Will is in trouble.

 

 

 

 

An Excerpt From My 2002 Journal (with footnotes from 2017)

Posted on by robindine

So when I was reading Amy Schumer’s The Girl With The Lower Back Tattoo this was a tool she would frequently use throughout her book and I thought it would be fun to try on my own. My parents are retired and working on purging their house so I’ve had to claim a lot of my childhood crap including my journals. Yes I was a young closeted gay boy who wrote in a journal because it was the early 00s and I had a lot of feels.

 

January 17th, 2002

Okay this the worst week. Omg first I have 2 projects due and one done and I’m starting one next week plus exams this week.[1] Plus exams this week during my math exam I got low and it sux. [2] It’s Lindsey’s birthday and I didn’t get her anything because she has been treating me like dirt lately. [3] I start gym and computer next week and the only good thing is no more Mr. Raymer and no more wood tech and asshole 8th graders. [4]

There is a new episode of Charmed and new Friends tonight.[5] They find of out the sex of Rachel’s baby is tonight and I hope it’s a girl. [6]

 

The Next Day….

It’s a girl on Friends [7] Right now I’ve decided to this summer I want a Homer Simpson attitude I want to be lazy but not dull and be exciting but also effortless. [8] I had my gym orientation and it doesn’t seem that bad but computer does suck and I don’t want to go[9]

-Rob Dine

[1] I mean it’s not exactly an episode of Degrassi level panic.

[2] I’m assuming I mean a low blood sugar and that is how I spelled “sucks” in the journal. #AOL

[3] Oh man now we are spilling the tea Also I still remember Lindsey’s Birthday is January 18th. Sorry girl no ill will in 2017.

[4] I remember having a lot of anxiety about gym, and with wood tech the semester before it wasn’t the easiest place to be closeted. I also remember I was in Mr. Raymor’s class when 9/11 happened.

[5] Must be Thursday

[6] I won’t spoil anything for people living under a rock.

[7] Spoiler alert

[8] Real talk: this is still my aspiration and I completely forgot its origin. Also even in 2002 the main thing I seem to care about is television.

[9] It turns out Mr. McNally was a huge prick but I wouldn’t be typing this blog if he hadn’t scared me into learning home row.

For you die-hard fans out there, here is a picture of me on NYE going into 2002 and where I made the resolution to start jounaling. I hope that blows your mind. Also don’t worry it’s just kids champagne and those are just terrible frosted tips.

2002 kid

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My Top Harry Potter Complaints

Aside | Posted on by robindine

I know I know it’s blasphemy to speak ill of HP but true art is meant to be critiqued. Also if Harry Potter was perfect we wouldn’t have that glorious fan fiction that exists in the world and it wouldn’t leave us wanting so much more.

Here are the following things that have been irking me since the last book came out.

Aunt Petunia

Image result for aunt petunia gif

Aunt Petunia is a truly wasted character in my opinion. She’s too villanous in the beginning of the novel where she more than borders on child abuse. Her motivation for taking in Harry never seems very clear especially if she only plans to neglect him. The howler from Dumbledore still doesn’t really give us a clear background on her reasoning other than we establish those two characters have met.

Not to mention her relationship with Lily is convoluted. It’s true we get a glimpse into their childhood and surprise surprise the root issue between the two sisters is jealousy but it is clear they did once care for each other. Despite this fact Petunia never let’s go of her anger even after her sister’s murder, not just death her murder. I feel like for somebody you hate to get murdered one could say the score is settled and you could let go. Normally an actual human might be filled with regrets over not making up rather than still fueled by bitterness. I mean come on, Lily got what ever comeuppance Petunia thought she deserved.

Near the end we see Dudley Dursley start to come around and make peace with Harry but I feel less invested in him as a character. To me he only represents the culture of the Dursleys but not really a significant foil to Harry. There is a set up in the book where the last time Harry and Petunia see each other and they act the like they have something to say to each other but it’s left unspoken. In the movie version they do share a small exchange where she says something about Voldermort murdering her sister not just Harry’s mother but that doesn’t really satisfy me fully.

This woman had to change Harry’s diapers, probably had him play with Dudley as infants, take him to the doctor and it seems odd she wouldn’t see it as a chance to make up for a lost relationship with her departed sister. It would make sense if she would resent him choosing to embrace magic as that was an issue with her Lily but she remains uncomplicated and mean.

No Love in Hufflepufftown

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Can we all take a minute to talk about Hufflepuff? The Jan Brady of the houses. I feel like America embraces Hufflepuff in an ironic hipster kind of way. They also are kind of the every man’s house. I do think they have grown attraction because they are so neglected in the books. They truly lack significance in seven different books and even The Cursed Child. I mean this a quarter of the student body. Sure we have Cedric as our token Hufflepuff and he is chosen as trizwizard champion over his other 7th year Gryffindor comrades. I do feel like there isn’t a lot of emphasis of him being a Hufflepuff.

Oh yes and there is Tonks who is a Hufflepuff but literally almost no one knows that unless they are a super geek. Slytherin has some very heavy hitters in the book with Snape, Draco, Slughorn, and basically every Death Eater. Ravenclaw has Luna Lovegood and Cho Chang both playing pretty significant roles throughout the series.

The history of Hogwarts is rich with facts about the other houses. Obviously with Harry being a Gryffindor we are saturated with those facts such as learning about the sword of Gryffindor, Godric Gryffindor, Godric’s Hollow, and an entire setting in their common room all the time. Slytherin basically has an origin story all of the second novel with the heir of Slytherin and the Basilisk.  Ravenclaw holds out for a few books but by the end of the seventh book we get a whole thrilling tale about Rowena Ravenclaw and her daughter the Gray Lady. Harry even gets to spend some quality time in the Ravenclaw and Slytherin common rooms.

The most we get about Hufflepuff History is a story where Tom Riddle plumps up and murders a descendent of Helga Hufflepuff. Let’s also be real Hepzibah or whatever her name was did not exactly paint a great picture of Hufflepuff. We know the dorms are near the kitchen which is what every good home owner wants, their bedroom right off the kitchen area. That’s like a couple on House Hunters being able to buy a home without his and her sinks.  Their ghost the Fat Friar is a cartoon at best.  I’m just saying they deserved more than Hannah Abbott and that Ernie kid.

The Lack of Americans

Image result for american dad hogwarts gif

I mean I know how bratty, and entitled and well let’s just say it American this complaint sounds. Doesn’t mean I’m not going to whine. I mean I know so many of you are reading this and saying “Rob, what about Fantastic Beasts?” Well you know what? That’s barely canon in the opinion of this reporter. I mean so much of the Harry Potter fan base is from North America. We publish and sell so many copies, the movies are produced by Warner Bros which is an American studio. I’m not saying make Harry American but just like one minor character would be a nice bone to throw us. Like just make Professor Sprout from like Wisconsin or something.

Ron’s Arc

Image result for ron weasley gif

This one might be the hardest for me. I love Ron Weasley. I feel like I need to express that here at the beginning. He is a good, relatable and flawed character whom I feel did not live up to his potential or at the very least lacked any pay off. Ron’s whole narrative has to do with being in the shadow, not having a place and overall feeling inferior. As you get to the last book it doesn’t really wrap up in his favor with him finding himself. He’s not exceptional at magic, or quidditch, or notably funny or smarter than anyone else in the novels.  He comes off as being in Harry’s shadow the whole time or his brothers’. I mean I’m one of those people who even though they don’t ship Harry and Hermione I do recognize their chemistry but have been better than Ron and Hermione’s. I felt like by the end of the book they tried to very lazily make us feel better about him. The horcrux making the Harry and Hermione apparition that he stabs, or with him coming up with the Basilisk fang.

I love Ron to reiterate again but I feel like he would’ve died earlier in the books and almost served as a martyr rather than carry on a sub par arc through out the story. Ron just needed one thing whether it was a more intense love storyline, or a skill or a development of a magical power (like Tonk’s metamorphosis), or even a truly heroic moment all to himself (Hermione had plenty). Sorry Ron.

No real LGBT storylines

Image result for harry potter gay gif

This might seem like an agenda but whatever. I know so many of you are like but what about Dumbledore? Well you know what? That is implied at best and you have to look pretty hard between the lines to know about Grindewald. Also if JK Rowling had never said it I feel we as society wouldn’t ever know.

Here is what I propose should have happened. I believe it would have been better if the revelation had been that Snape was in love with James Potter instead of Lily. It would make sense why he was so angry because he was repressed, also why he had such fury against James because of unrequited love and misplaced feelings. Also his severe dislike of Harry might be easier to swallow because Harry would constantly remind Snape of James’s love for a woman. On a side note it’s not even worth complaining about but I always hated how Snape was such a dick to Harry and then was like “I love your mother” and sure he did some low-key things along the way for Harry but overall was rude af and I don’t feel like that is paying tribute to Lily.

Also I think you could’ve had Seamus and Dean fall in love because otherwise what is the point of them?

Slytherin is bad news bears

Image result for can i slytherin gif

The Hogwarts houses can feel a little too black and white at times. I feel like it’s like Gryffindor is full of saviors (but let’s be real it’s the place that housed Lavender Brown so it’s not that impressive) and Slytherin is just the Legion of Doom. We get a lot more of the inside track of Gryffindor so I think we know it can be flawed (see Percy Weasley). However Slytherin is just code for evil? I feel like that’s not fair to that house and also if that was true why not make more an effort stop the future Death Eaters from basically forming in detention?

The world just needed 1-2 normal Slytherin witches and wizards for redemption. Just like 2 people who were like “Oh yeah I was in Slytherin and now I work for Magical Law Enforcement and enjoy collecting magical art and not trying to commit genocide in a weird Hitler esq fashion”. They attempt to give us Slughorn but come on, he is pompous and self-serving the only thing about him is that he likes Harry and is pretty harmless.

I’m just saying a place that is school of villains could have benefited from being a little more in the grey space. I’m also not counting The Cursed Child as canon in this reference.

Ginny Weasley

Image result for ginny weasley gif

Is she that great or is she just a myth? She is character who I feel like is forced upon us. I feel like in one of the books we just establish that she is hot, funny, smart and independent. When we really didn’t get that from her in the first couple of books. There is a lot of description about her greatness but not a lot of scenes or evidence to back it up. Her love story with Harry feels very forced and once again I feel like it’s referenced that it’s so impactful without really having them be together very much, more just thinking about each other a lot. At best they like the idea of each other. Also is it me or do Lily and Ginny feel eerily similar? Dudebro has got some bad mommy issues.

Also I don’t think anyone of us wants to talk about the movie version of Ginny.

Aberforth Dumbledore

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He is barely mentioned in the book. I mean I have reread these books plenty of times but I can’t even tell you which book has one featuring sentence about him. His presence and reluctant help in the 7th book also feels highly convenient. He just happens to live in Hogsmead and has his own access to the castle? I don’t know about that, but I do like that we have a credible Anti-Dumbledore person. The 7th book is all about casting some light on Albus and I feel like Aberforth at least has a reason to dislike him and he does add some truth and insight only a sibling can do. Also though I feel like no one wants to talk about how it’s possible this man might have fucked a goat?

Draco and Hermione

Image result for hermione punches draco gif

SAY WHAT YOU WILL IT COULD’VE BEEN GREAT. Honestly Draco is such a wasted character, he is literally a little piss ant bully turned almost murderer turned reluctant death eater. I feel like that could’ve been so much more compelling if there was some expansion on his struggle. I feel like I don’t often give the movies more credit than the books but in the 6th movie (easily my least favorite) we do get to see some non verbal scenes with him where you can sense more of his resistance. He’s such a dick for so long and you wanted him to come around and help in the battle but he doesn’t really ever apologize or help out more just doesn’t make an effort to stop them. Narcissa Malfoy is more helpful in the battle of Hogwarts than Draco if we are being real.

Enter my Hermione ship. I just think it could’ve broken down some barriers. You could start subtlety making them like each other or talking maybe via tutoring or something (I mean we’ve all seen One Tree Hill, right? #nathanandhaley) because here is the other part of this: They are teenagers who are hormonal and they spend way too much time researching versus trying to get some. Maybe it’s a british thing. However it could’ve added a little teen element. Taught Draco to overcome his prejudices and maybe teach Hermione to get off her high horse a little. I still love Hermione, I hated typing that but I needed to hone in my point. Also its way more conflict and intrigue. I mean if Emma Watson can love a Beast, she can suck face with some blonde fool. It also could’ve created some resolution with Harry and Draco which never really seems to come to pass. We only get a curt nod in a train station. (Once again excluding The Cursed Child).

Epilogue

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Um cheesey as hell. I don’t like it. I just feel like a peak into the future wasn’t a bad idea but it got so fairy tale/after school special. I just feel like keeping it a little vague or having some interpretation would’ve been better than tying it up with a bow. The movie just layers on the velveeta. All three of our stars have established careers, children and playful marriages. It’s sweet but I feel like it doesn’t follow the tone of the rest of the books. I just don’t like it.

Not accepting me

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I mean I literally was 11 when those books came to the US and I feel like my entire 5th grade class learned about real disappointment when no owls came to save us from doing our lame ass ecosystem projects.

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The Whole 30 Challenge Week 4: The Wrap Up

Aside | Posted on by robindine

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? Every thing is weird. Man oh man.

Image result for and jesus wept dean pelton

For there were no more worlds to conquer.

 

Well, I would say I’ve learned a lot about the Whole 30 and here are my keys to success.

 

Rob’s Keys To Success

 

Have a partner.

modern family

I mean Mary and I transitioned from sad hung over kittens, to cooking partners, to competitors to sharing war stories in the matter of a month. The accountability factor is nice too because it makes harder to quit. It’s just important to have someone to vent to, someone who saves leftovers for you, and someone who also will understand your texts about which cereal you miss the most.

 

Don’t start day 1 hung over.

hey arnold

When you think about giving up drinking for a month, you think you need to have a Mardi Gras  experience but believe you me it’s a trap. The worst thing is ever to be hung over during day 1 and not be able to have pop or a cheeseburger. Spend the last day before the whole 30 hung over eating garbage before you start.

 

Be adventurous with your meals.

funny homer simpson the simpsons simpsons homer

Boredom was a real thing for me. You can only make so many different kind of eggs.Mary was much better in this category than me, but there are so many recipes out there for Whole 30 and one should take advantage.

 

Do your research.

teen wolf study medicine studying prepa

The Whole 30 is a commitment and before you do it you should know what you are getting into, there are plenty of books and I hate to say it a plethora of rules.

 

Don’t just jump in.

time college dinner

Take your time. Figure out when the whole 30 is going to work for you. I specifically chose February because it didn’t have any high drinking events in this month so be conscious about the time. You don’t want to set your self up to fail.

 

Accountability plays a role.

filmeditor falling mean girls mean girls movie trust fall

It often felt like a risky move sharing all of this with you all but it in the end I think it was the right thing to do. There is something about the people in your world watching  you that makes you feel like you don’t want to fail because it’s so public. I knew I couldn’t get away sneaking treats at work because people knew what I was doing, and same with my friends and that really kept me in check. Real talk this was a hard month because for some reason every patient at the hospital decided to just have a heart of gold and make all these cookies for the staff. It.was.killer.

 

 

The future of Whole 30 and me.

In the end of all this I would go as far as to say that I was a fan. It wasn’t easy but I think the benefits were worth it. I don’t think the Whole 30 in itself isn’t manageable long-term which is why it’s only designed to be for 30 days. I think you have to make it work for yourself. I feel like I will maintain an 80/20 ratio of this diet. I plan to just have a pre chosen meal once a week that’s off the diet. I am not a super heavy drinker so I will probably allow myself the amount of alcohol I had previously. And yes I will drink Diet Coke on the weekends, the world can make its piece with that truth.

 

And to my loyal readers…

 

I just want to say that I’ve been so grateful for the support over this past month. Everyone has been keeping up, telling me encouraging things and I feel like I really had a invested community behind me. I know it’s silly because at the end of the day, it’s just a diet but it’s nice to know people care. To everyone who is wanting to give it a try, please reach out to me. I’m by no means an expert but I will definitely split an avocado with you and listen to your woes (but know it will get better too).

community teamwork group hug hanging out hang out

 

 

For bonus: My top 5 cooldown songs.

  1. Fresh Feeling-Eels
  2. Runaway-Grace Mitchell
  3. Doin’ it Right-Daft Punk
  4. One Day They’ll Know-Pretty Lights
  5. Seaside-The Kooks

 

 

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The Whole 30 Challenge Week 3: The Brainwash

Aside | Posted on by robindine

So here we are in week 3 kids. Who would’ve thought? I do have to say everyone’s support has been really appreciated. I called this segment “The Brainwash” because I think it’s what’s happened to me. I feel like I’m at the phase now where I kind of like the Whole 30. I’m starting to see and feel the benefits and I’m not audibly sighing when people ask me how it’s going.

The Simpsons episode 13 season 9 principal skinner group

#melissanddanhartwig

Here is what I’ve learned this week…

 

I’ve been getting in shape a lot faster than it’s happened in the past.

getting on hbo

Normally I’ll just start working out in random waves but don’t always diet at the same time and this time I’m doing them in tandem and my workouts have gotten much stronger much quicker than normal. I’m doing my same routine but I would say its progress has been faster than in the past.

 

Is drinking pop the new smoking?

soda

“It causes cancer” “it messes with your weight” “it has all these unnatural substances in it” “might as well be ingesting rat poison”

All things that were once said about smoking but now I feel are being said about pop (or soda for my non-Michigan friends). If you are a heavy pop drinker now you keep it on the DL or you are openly judged. Unless you meet another peer who shares your love and you can talk about the sweet carbonation you aren’t safe. I tell people how I still miss Diet Coke and people seem disappointed the cult’s beliefs haven’t converted me that far yet.

I will add my PSA of please don’t smoke. After working on a stroke unit for a year I want to say if you can decrease your risk of a stroke you can decrease your risk of a punk like me wiping your ass.

 

This diet is kind of making me a basic bitch. 

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I went on a walk last week and went to Martha’s Vineyard and I hadn’t been there in a minute but I did say the following two phrases. “Oooohh is that grapefruit LaCroix?” and “Omg they have unsalted almonds here??” And before you think there is hope for me you should know I said the letters OMG in that sentence and not the actual words.

 

My new coffee addiction has got feeling like Nancy Botwin

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Adding to my basicness for sure. I drink a lot of iced coffees now because it’s the only caffeine I can have besides tea. I  feel like I walk around with my straw in mouth and quick wit just like Nancy except her idea of danger is The Cartel and mine is daydreaming about hacking into my mom’s Hulu account and upgrading this family to no commercials.

 

Not to sound paranoid but I am finding a hint of surprise in some voices when I tell people I haven’t quit.

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Obviously I don’t mean to discredit people who have been very supportive. I mean I’m sure it’s just low self-esteem or something but yes I’ve heard some infliction of surprise. To all the haters out there, Mary and I have made it to day 23.

 

People have a lot of questions

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It’s actually very nice and I like that people are curious. I think a couple of people are considering doing this for themselves so I invite questions for sure.

 

Some bonus items..

 

My top 5 running songs (currently)

  1. Let ’em Say by Luzzo
  2. Me, Myself & I by G-Eazy
  3. Could Have Been Me by The Struts
  4. Confident by Demi Lovato (what? I’m a well to do gay man I’m going to listen to Demi)
  5. Online Songs by Blink 182

 

My top weight loss inspirations

  1. Fight Club. The intensity of Tyler Durden will always inspire me to live my life in ALL CAPS.
  2. Chris Pratt. I mean there is a scene in early Parks and Rec where you see  a tape of Andy auditioning for Survivor and he is shirtless and chubby and now cut to Guardians of the Galaxy. I know we all now but still.
  3. My wardrobe. I have a large amount of clothes that I can wear again if I just lose a small amount of weight and I’m too cheap to just buy new clothes.
  4. Wanting to keep my legs. Working with a lot of amputees in the hospital and many of them are diabetics and I feel like when I mention I’m diabetic to them they give me a this-could-be-you look.
  5. The fact I graduated high school 10 years ago. I doubt I would go to my reunion but it can make you feel reflective on such an anniversary.

 

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The Whole 30 Challenge Week 2: The Boredom

Aside | Posted on by robindine

So as many of you know I’ve been dong the whole 30 challenge. We are now at the halfway point. Who thought we would make it here? Not me every day but we are here nonetheless. The first part of my journey was all about cravings, and being depressed. Now a lot of that awfulness has passed but I’m also pretty bored of variation of eggs and baked chicken.

Here is what I have learned this week.

I will not ever suffer from scurvy because I eat like a 4 lb bag of oranges in 2 days.

The Simpsons food episode 10 upset season 16

 

Mary (my young sister) is a better chef than me. I spent my whole life thinking she was the ultimate sous chef but it turns out she knows how much cayenne pepper to put on things and remembers to turn off the oven.

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I feel like I’m colder a lot more of the time now. That might be just winter but these are my observations.

Saturday Night Live snl cold kate mckinnon freezing

 

Fun Bonus Segment!

Gym Bummers!

As the whole 30 keeps on moving, so does the gym time. I’m by no means new to the gym but I feel like as I’m journaling this whole thing I’m making more notes on my surroundings and here are the people who are the most annoying at the gym.

  1. Senior Citizen jibber jabber. I know I know it’s insensitive and it’s not that I don’t want elderly people at the gym. However sometimes they will stand in high-profile places like where you need to swipe your card  or in front of the place where you fill your water bottle and they are just talking to one of their peers about something you will never be able to decipher because you zoned out immediately.

funny movies kids bored twins

 

2. Locker room lingerers are a thing. There are some people who just love being naked and will use all of their powers to delay getting dressed. They will pace around and ask a loose acquaintance how their kid is doing in school, make small talk with the staff stocking towels all to just remain nude. Like just get dressed you know? Also they never seem to want to move their bag off the bench for you in fear if they touch the bag their clothes will jump on them without asking.

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3. Kids! I apologize to a lot of you because I know many of you are parents that will read this blog (bless you for that by the way) and just remember it’s not your kids personally that are making me crazy. It’s not even kids in general but some people feel the need to let their children run on the track without them  and in the wrong direction. Also some dads feel the need to bring their young kids in the locker room and I just don’t want to strip in front of your child when at the YMCA you literally have your own family locker room. Just do us all a favor and go one more door down.

mrs krabappel

 

4. Protein dudes. We all know them, and they are the worst. Making their weird potions and constantly telling you but not telling you directly about how much they’re taking, their lifting schedule, and how they barely even do cardio now.

bane

 

5. People who take the treadmill right next to you when there are plenty open. It’s almost as bad as taking the urinal right next to me when you got other options.

Patrick Stewart hello bathroom son blunt talk

 

Even more bonus. Now that I’m not drinking Diet Coke I’m trying all of the Lacroix flavors I can and here are my top 3 and bottom 3 choices.

Bottom 3

  1. Coconut:I don’t feel like I want to taste sun tan lotion that has been carbonated.
  2. Lime: It’s a seltzer water with lime and no gin. No sale.
  3. Orange: Just such a bummer because it’s not Sunkist but also just way too mild.

Top 3

  1. Strawberry Pineapple: you gotta schlep to Target but it’s worth it
  2. Passionfruit: Thank you Anna-Marie Jenks for that introduction
  3. Grapefruit: a bronze medal at best

Top 3 things I miss right now

  1. Club sandwiches
  2. Quesadillas
  3. Harmony’s Grapefruit Moon (that could be inspired by the Lacroix)

Special shout out to my MFB folks. Everyone checks in a lot and wants to know how it is and asks questions which I think is cool. I appreciate the support and accountability especially when a nurse who shall remain nameless tried to bust me for putting cream in my coffee but it was just coconut milk.

Rankings

My Personal Ranking of This Year’s SNL Cast.

Aside | Posted on by robindine

I have loved this years cast of Saturday Night Live but I also love making judgemental ranking lists so here goes this year’s cast from worst to best.

 

Kyle Mooney

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Dude Kyle Mooney is the worst. He has been on the show for years and has yet to win me over. His reoccurring character on Weekend Update always flops and he would rank higher if this was his first year but he has had lots of chances.

 

Mikey Day

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Do we need you? Do you offer anything special to this cast? You seem like a mildly funny white guy and unfortunately for you Mikey that pretty much makes you a dime a dozen in SNL history. We need to ask ourselves; were you better than Jon Rudnitsky?

 

Alex Moffat

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There isn’t even a good gif of him on the internet because that’s how little of an impression you have made. You rank slightly higher than Mikey Day due to nothing but instinct but I’m still not so sure about you. It’s also because you are slightly more handsome than Mikey. Let’s be real.

 

Sasheer Zamata

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I don’t dislike Sasheer but she is often is the straight character who doesn’t have many lines. Sometimes I think she just isn’t getting enough opportunity  but what I’ve seen so far hasn’t been overally impressive.

 

Kenan Thompson

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Like we get it, you used to be on Nickelodeon and you do a good Steve Harvey. It might time to move on Kenan.

 

Melissa Villasenor

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I like that we finally have a Latina cast member and she has a cool voice. I feel like she could go far but exposure is low at this point.

 

Pete Davidson

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Like Pete is okay. I have no real qualms but I think mostly I can’t help but feel jealous of his success at his age. I also feel like he is good in skits but his Weekend Update appearances are real hit and miss.

 

Bobby Moynihan 

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I actually really like Bobby. I think Drunk Uncle is a good character but also feel like in the later seasons of his career he is a little more forgettable. Like if I watched episode and he has been in zero skits I don’t know if I would notice right away. Sorry Bobby.

 

Colin Jost 

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I was so suspect of this guy in the beginning! I don’t know why but I did not want to give him a chance, it’s like he knows how adorkable he is or something but in the end I’ve decided he’s alright. I also feel like his chemistry with Micheal Che didn’t hurt his likeability either.

 

Leslie Jones

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Who doesn’t love Leslie? She is a breath of fresh air on this program. My only criticism is she can be a little one note at times but it’s not a bad note for sure.

 

Cecily Strong 

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The women of SNL just slay the friggen’ game now. I’m very glad Cecily isn’t on Weekend Update anymore and is featured in more skits because she is so funny. Her Sofia Vergara impression is top notch.

 

Aidy Bryant 

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Aidy is a kween! Such good delivery in her skits and hits her cues beautifully. Also I feel like there was a period when I was watching “Girlfriends Talk Show” like once a week.

 

Michael Che

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I do love Michael Che. I think he is funny and balances out Colin very well. He is handsome and charming and a good writer.

 

Vanessa Bayer

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I have sung my praises for Vanessa before, I think she is highly underrated on this show. She is so versatile. She can play the straight person very well but also a traditional mom or a hoochie teenager without you ever questioning it.

 

Beck Bennett

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Does Beck really deserve to be number 2 on this list? Probably not but it’s no secret that I have a big crush on him. Something about that voice y’all. However I do think it might be the strongest male on the cast and he for sure has been heavily featured this season.

@robrobindine (for Beck if he ever reads this)

 

Kate McKinnon

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I feel like this is a no brainer. If not for this character featured above than for her amazing Hilary Clinton impression or my personal favorite Olya the russian immigrant.

 

Let me know if you agree!