The Whole 30 Challenge Week 3: The Brainwash

So here we are in week 3 kids. Who would’ve thought? I do have to say everyone’s support has been really appreciated. I called this segment “The Brainwash” because I think it’s what’s happened to me. I feel like I’m at the phase now where I kind of like the Whole 30. I’m starting to see and feel the benefits and I’m not audibly sighing when people ask me how it’s going.

The Simpsons episode 13 season 9 principal skinner group

#melissanddanhartwig

Here is what I’ve learned this week…

 

I’ve been getting in shape a lot faster than it’s happened in the past.

getting on hbo

Normally I’ll just start working out in random waves but don’t always diet at the same time and this time I’m doing them in tandem and my workouts have gotten much stronger much quicker than normal. I’m doing my same routine but I would say its progress has been faster than in the past.

 

Is drinking pop the new smoking?

soda

“It causes cancer” “it messes with your weight” “it has all these unnatural substances in it” “might as well be ingesting rat poison”

All things that were once said about smoking but now I feel are being said about pop (or soda for my non-Michigan friends). If you are a heavy pop drinker now you keep it on the DL or you are openly judged. Unless you meet another peer who shares your love and you can talk about the sweet carbonation you aren’t safe. I tell people how I still miss Diet Coke and people seem disappointed the cult’s beliefs haven’t converted me that far yet.

I will add my PSA of please don’t smoke. After working on a stroke unit for a year I want to say if you can decrease your risk of a stroke you can decrease your risk of a punk like me wiping your ass.

 

This diet is kind of making me a basic bitch. 

Image result for broad city basic bitch

I went on a walk last week and went to Martha’s Vineyard and I hadn’t been there in a minute but I did say the following two phrases. “Oooohh is that grapefruit LaCroix?” and “Omg they have unsalted almonds here??” And before you think there is hope for me you should know I said the letters OMG in that sentence and not the actual words.

 

My new coffee addiction has got feeling like Nancy Botwin

Image result for nancy botwin coffee gif

Adding to my basicness for sure. I drink a lot of iced coffees now because it’s the only caffeine I can have besides tea. I  feel like I walk around with my straw in mouth and quick wit just like Nancy except her idea of danger is The Cartel and mine is daydreaming about hacking into my mom’s Hulu account and upgrading this family to no commercials.

 

Not to sound paranoid but I am finding a hint of surprise in some voices when I tell people I haven’t quit.

Related image

Obviously I don’t mean to discredit people who have been very supportive. I mean I’m sure it’s just low self-esteem or something but yes I’ve heard some infliction of surprise. To all the haters out there, Mary and I have made it to day 23.

 

People have a lot of questions

interview chris pratt distracted captivated

It’s actually very nice and I like that people are curious. I think a couple of people are considering doing this for themselves so I invite questions for sure.

 

Some bonus items..

 

My top 5 running songs (currently)

  1. Let ’em Say by Luzzo
  2. Me, Myself & I by G-Eazy
  3. Could Have Been Me by The Struts
  4. Confident by Demi Lovato (what? I’m a well to do gay man I’m going to listen to Demi)
  5. Online Songs by Blink 182

 

My top weight loss inspirations

  1. Fight Club. The intensity of Tyler Durden will always inspire me to live my life in ALL CAPS.
  2. Chris Pratt. I mean there is a scene in early Parks and Rec where you see  a tape of Andy auditioning for Survivor and he is shirtless and chubby and now cut to Guardians of the Galaxy. I know we all now but still.
  3. My wardrobe. I have a large amount of clothes that I can wear again if I just lose a small amount of weight and I’m too cheap to just buy new clothes.
  4. Wanting to keep my legs. Working with a lot of amputees in the hospital and many of them are diabetics and I feel like when I mention I’m diabetic to them they give me a this-could-be-you look.
  5. The fact I graduated high school 10 years ago. I doubt I would go to my reunion but it can make you feel reflective on such an anniversary.

 

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