My Adult Halloween Costumes: Ranked Worst To Best

If you were not aware I am a big fan of Halloween and usually of costume and theme parties all together. With Halloween coming up so soon I figured I would do a best/worst salute for all of my readers. Do enjoy!

 

 

10. The Mime: Year 2009 (age 20)

1,000 barfs to this costume idea. I have no idea what I was thinking. Honestly 2009 was a big year for me to wear horizontal stripes so maybe it was just inspiration. It was creepy and that white make up got on everything (sorry to everyone who lived in that apartment because I ruined all of those shot glasses). The only plus side is my eyes sure did pop with all that white make up. Side note: for some reason in my head all mimes are French so I remember an ill fated accent appearing all evening. The heaviest of sighs.

 

9. Mario: Year 2008 (age 19)

This one is getting called out due to true laziness. I have no mustache, my hat is not correct and my friend Julian/Luigi is not doing any favors either by wearing zero hat and no mustache either. The only props I will give us is that we have ‘the one of us is short and round and the other is tall and thin’ aspect of Mario and Luigi going on. To give us some credit in the year 2008 I went out twice for Halloween with two different costumes so this was the weaker of the two nights.

 

8. Where’s Waldo: Year 2010 (age 21)

This one is also getting called out for being kind of basic. I’m wearing jeans and tennis shoes and all I bought was the shirt/hat/glasses in a kit. Apparently I still cared about horizontal stripes in 2010 as well. It wasn’t even like I was a big fan of Waldo growing up but it was nice to wear a costume that was comfortable. This was also a year I went out for two nights of Halloween this being the weaker costume (man I used to do it up right, 2 nights? I’m like already planning my first nap of the day and it’s 9:17 AM as I write this).

That’s my friend Victoria behind me, she recently turned 21 in this picture if that does any explaining.

 

7. Spiderman: Year 2007 (age 18)

This one isn’t terrible or anything and it was the height of the Tobey Maguire movies. The costume actually was made out of pretty good material and lasted a few years (I say this like I was Spiderman and my crime fighting costume held up well, but I did keep it my closet so somebody would see and wonder “is Rob Spiderman?”). The only real issue is that I couldn’t wear the mask with it because it got in the way of my drinking and there is something about a nylon mask on Halloween that can come off as a little rapey.

 

6. Tony The Tiger: Year 2015 (age 26)

Nothing was terribly wrong with Tony. My friend Liz did a great job on making those stripes for me (do I have thing for stripes? I’m having a real glass shattering moment as I’m putting this together). I think I was just annoyed that many people thought I was Tigger. Also my friend Alexis in the middle did actually go as Tigger so it added confusion.

That’s my friend Victoria on the left again from the Where’s Waldo pic.  We are more poised at age 26.

 

5. Ipod: Year 2010 (age 21)

I don’t know how I got talked into this one. My old roommate Jess (on the right) was so into this idea and I felt I couldn’t turn down her enthusiam (thanks for nothing pinterest). I have to give Jess credit though, she did a good job making these and I do love the shade of blue I am wearing. However I had to cut myself free at the end of the night, the tape kept pulling at hairs everywhere and peeing was as easy as it looked.

Note: this was the companion costume to Where’s Waldo in 2010.

 

4. The Hamburgler: Year 2008 (age 19)

Okay this actually the raddest idea I had. Not that hard to pull off either. I bought a jailer costume (more horizontal stripes because they are my passion I just need to accept), wore a red polo underneath, had a red tie, bought the bandit mask and hat. It just felt so genius at the time and I have no regrets. The only crime (besides stealing hamburgers) was my friend Rachel Goldlust (yeah, calling you out girly) was wearing the same costume! It was funny but hurt my ego for originality.  Fun fact is that Rachel is the girl standing next to me when I’m wearing my Spiderman costume as shown in number 7 above. That is also my friend Julian who was my Luigi that same year. He’s like a nerd or something, whatever.

 

Top 3!

3. Ash Ketchum: Year 2011 (age 22)

Ash wins some mad points because this was before Pokemon Go, and it was fun as hell. I had the idea early on and my friends jumped on board too which made him better. I also loved wearing a slimming black t-shirt but was so depressed I couldn’t find/make his smock thing (this was before I knew my friend Liz who makes all of my costumes now). I did make the Pokeballs though, note the ones I made for my hip too.

Look at these guys! They went all out! I was so proud of them. My friend Nick/Brock on the far right of the left picture killed it with that vest. You would think it would be hard to find that vest but took us like 1-2 attemps. I still have and wear that green puffy mess. I also appreciate my sister Sam going as Squirtle (on the right) and letting me get drunk and pretend to capture her all night because I pointed out to my friend Alexis (who went as Pikachu) that he doesn’t go in his Pokeball.

 

2. Cesear Flickerman: Year 2014 (age 25)

Well this was just a gem of a costume. Obviously I love The Hunger Games and instead of emmulating one of the heroes I choose the announcer. It was just another brilliant idea by yours truly. My friend Liz helped create the wig and believe it or not the suit is actually an old Austin Powers outfit my sister Sam/Judge Judy wore the year before. I got to hold a microphone (made of a ladel and aluminium foil) and quote all night. Side note: Mrs. Pac-Man was the Pikachu from above.

 

Before I unvel number 1 here are some non-Halloween costumes for your enjoyment.

 

Millhouse Van Houten: 90’s themed birthday party (age 23)

This is my 23rd birthday and we did a 90’s theme. Of course I picked one of the most unsexy constumes for this event. That’s my friend Julian again from the 2008 Luigi and Hamburgler year for reference.

 

Frog Mario: Mario Themed Party (age 26)

I didn’t really learn how to be a better Mario 7 years later than my first attempt. I did have a mustache this time! It just kept falling off. Mostly the frog hat was cool and I still have it and my friend Liz (on the right) threw a killer Mario Party.

 

Glittery Hot Messes: Girl Talk Concert (age 21)

My friend Jess (the ipod) and friend Victoria had all decided to go to a Girl Talk concert in Detroit and decided it would be fun to glam up for it. Please note this was also the height of Ke$ha’s fame (#freeKe$ha by the way). Vicotria would want me to remind you all that she had recently turned 21 in this photo.

 

A Diabetic Test Strip: Corey Bergers Themed Birthday (age 23)

We threw Corey a surprise party and the theme was him. Many people just wore glasses but I knew Corey growing up and his family’s involvment in JDRF (Juvinille Diabetes Research Foundation) so I wore a shirt with expired test strips on it with fake blood to show diabetic support.

 

A Zorro Person?: Halloween of 1998 (age 9)

A friend posted this on Facebook a while back so I’m not totally sure of the year or what I was supposed to be. I’m the blondie in the middle. Looks warm for October.

 

 

And for the number 1….

 
1.US Highway 131: Year 2012 (Age 23)

Gahhhhh I still love it! For all of you locals reading this. I know you are nodding your head along in approval. I had recently graduated from WMU and I spent my whole last year communting from Grand Rapids to Kalamazoo. I was so sick of the friggen’ highway. This was my ode to that place. My friend Liz (pictured on the right) made 90% of this costume and it was our first real bonding expereince. We made the exits out of felt and even put them in correct order, made the Grand Rapids and highway emblems by hand. I even had tiny cars made of paper attached to my shoes. I also had recently lost like 15-20lbs so I was feeling good in my form fitting long johns.

 

Editor’s note: There is no costume picture for the year 2013 (age 24) because I went to my friend Liz’s house and I went as the Cheshire Cat and it turned out so bad. I wore purple pants and a purple shirt and used pink duct tape to make his tabby stripes (BECAUSE OMG I’M OBSESSED WITH STRIPES) and I looked like a fat, sloppy,drunk, hot air balloon. I think I deleted all of the pictures from that night but everyone can know it would have ranked lower than the mime.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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