So like many families The Dines have formed their own colloquial phrases specific to our family. For many of our friends you have heard many of these phrases and I thought it was time for some definitions.

 

Maddy Brat: My dad’s term for when someone is being difficult.

Example: Don’t be a maddy brat.

 

Dine Family rules: The main family rule which dictates you cannot sit in the car while somebody pumps gas. It’s courtesy for at least one person to get out of the car and keep the person company while they pump gas.

Example: *Somebody is in the car still once you’ve parked at a gas station* Who is getting out? Dine Family rules.

For whatever reason you have to say the phrase “Dine Family rules” a lot.

 

Sous Chef: probably the most used of them all. This phrase means if you are being a sous chef, you are just keeping another person company while they work.

Example 1:

Rob: Hey Mary, will you sous chef me while I clean my room?

Example 2:

Beau: Hey I need some helping moving some furniture and you can’t just sous chef.

 

The Game: Probably the most important, my family likes to play this game where you pretend to not know what something basic is in order to watch somebody react.

Example:

Rob: Did you see Avengers this weekend?

Mary: What’s that?

Rob: Avengers? You know like the big giant super hero movie.

Mary: Don’t know it.

2 minutes later I’m still ranting…

Rob: Okay and then we have the Guardians of the Galaxy with Chris Pratt from Parks and Rec. Are you serious??

Mary: Nah, I’m just playing the game.

Rob: sigh.

Two things about the game: if someone asks if you’re playing the game, you have to answer honestly and I’m literally almost never playing the game just a victim.

 

“Arthur Doesn’t Listen”: A phrase coined by my dad from a book I had in preschool. The story is about a first day of school and you can guess it, Arthur is a problem child. He doesn’t listen. It’s literally one page, one sentence in the whole book. Now it is said in place of “I told you so”

Example:

Rob: Ugh, I forgot to get my license renewed and now it’s more money.

Dad: Arthur doesn’t listen.

 

“I think Reed is done now”: This is a favorite. I used to babysit a kid named Reed who was nonverbal. Sometimes his sister would be there too. If we were doing a group activity that was losing her interest instead of saying she was bored she would look at her brother and say “I think Reed is done now” in order to get us to move on. Now as Dines we use anytime we passively want to reference being over an activity.

Example:

Rob and Sam are at a Target and there are too many people and making too much noise.

Rob looks defeated

Sam: I think Reed is done now

 

Sailor’s on a ship: This is what my mom calls the thing where you cut out the middle of a piece of bread and fry an egg in the middle.  No idea where it comes from.

Example:

Kids: What are we having?

Mom: Sailors on a ship!

 

Aliens!: My mom invented this when I was in junior high. If somebody left pop cans out or ignored a chore she would say “I know my kids could never have done this, I know aliens must have beamed down and down this” followed by a Sandy Dine cackle.

It got to the point where she stopped using our names and just said Alien 1,2,3 and 4. She would leave notes like:

Alien 1: finish the gutters

Alien 2: Vacuum all common areas

Aliens 3&4: Straighten up storage room.

 

0 to 1: This is a sliding scale of how many kids Sam Dine and I could handle raising in our lives based on our current ability.

Example 1: Kids are having a tantrum at Meijer.

Sam looks at me: Zero.

Example 2: Our nephew is being cuddly and smiling.

Sam looks at me: One.

 

Mermaid swim: This is specific to Lake Michigan and us camping. My mom always had a rule that if you want hot breakfast you have to get up early and wash your hair in Lake Michigan and don’t even think about showering after.

Example

Mom: Who is coming down for Mermaid Swim?

All kids resist but mostly do it because we want the fore mentioned sailors on a ship.

 

The Polycart: It’s just our family’s term for the trash bin outside. I’ve just never heard anyone else call it that.

 

“Goddamn Ham sandwiches”: A drunken complaint from my father one Christmas party in reference to the food.

Origin:

My dad looks around at the food at a family party.

Dad: All they have are goddamn ham sandwiches.

Now it used to reference any unsatisfactory food situation whether there are sandwiches or not.

Example:

Sam: how was the work meeting?

Rob: Nothing good to eat, just goddamn ham sandwiches.

 

Animals at midnight: I don’t know why but on Christmas Eve at midnight my parents will tell us how this is the one hour a year that humans can communicate with animals. None of the animals ever filed a grievance when given this hour.

 

“Too much birthday”: Stolen from The Berenstain’s Bears about when one of the kids stretches out their birthday party and gets over saturated. Now it is said anytime you have too many days of social interactions.

Example:

Mary: I just need to chill today, I’ve just been out everyday spending too much money and drinking too much.

Rob: Too much birthday?

Mary: Too much birthday.

 

“Little nepotis”: The origin of this comes from Jack Black’s School of Rock, which upon reflection of writing this I’m reminded that my family freaking loves Jack Black. Anyways there is a line where he is referencing nepotism in the music business and shortens it to “little nepotis” and now we tend to say the phrase in place of “FYI” or just to grab someone’s attention even though that seems to make zero sense.

Example:

Sam: Little nepotis! I can’t meet you on Thursday because I have to watch the baby. 

 

Dine 1-1: This is a great play on 9-1-1 because we are so adorably witty, however mostly this is saved for situations in which you have a runaway child. We haven’t had to use it in a bit but baby BJDJ is so close to walking so it might come back into vogue.

Example: 

(Circa 1991, baby Robin is running off in a store)

Bob: Oh damn, we got a Dine 1-1. 

 

Friday night crying: Formed in 2010 when Sam and I worked as camp counselors and after a long grueling week our coworkers would want to go out to blow off some steam. Often though we (Sam more often than me) would fall asleep after work and be so cranky from our naps and resist leaving the house due to exhaustion but we would put on an episode of television and pout and get ready. We always had a good time once we were out but now have dubbed any resistance to going out as “Friday night crying”

Example:

Rob: Are you going to Alexis’s birthday party on Saturday?

Sam: Yes, but its been a week so I will probably need to do a little Friday night crying first. 

 

Going to Buddy’s: This was a Beau Dine inspired phrase. Anytime Beau wanted you to sous chef him (see that reference in a reference?) on some errands. He would always say “We just gotta stop at Buddy’s real quick”. Buddy was Beau’s friend growing up and while you thought you were gonna be out with Beau for like 45 minutes it ended up being 4 hours and now used to talk about going on a long errand with somebody

Example:

Mary: Did you end up going to Target with Sam?

Rob: Yeah, but like we had to stop at Buddy’s real quick. 

 

“No judgement at Denny’s”:  At the height of my binge drinking, my favorite hangover spot was Denny’s (just be cool, I can feel some of you rolling your eyes but also I’m just glad you read this far). It’s just nice to get a crisp Diet Coke, french fries and also bacon. Anyways my friends and I would often order too much food and be self-conscious.

Origin:

Victoria: Is it weird if I order pancakes and mashed potatoes?

Rob: There is no judgment at Denny’s.

Now it is used anytime we are in public and need reassurance we aren’t being judged.

Example:

Rob: Are you going to be mad if I pick Coldplay song for the jukebox?

Sam: No judgment at Denny’s. 

 

“Don’t miss a beat”: A phrased meant to shame someone when they didn’t learn gossip fast enough.

Example:

Rob: Sam told me that Mom said Sunday dinner isn’t happening.

Mary: I know. Mom and I don’t miss a beat.

 

Lightbulbs: My mom’s answer to anyone asking her what is for dinner. I don’t know the origin.

Example:

Mary: Mommmmmmmmmmm….what’s for dinner?

Sandy: Lightbulbs.